


Not a Sex Fiend

by TourmalineQueen



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: (If you've read my other fics you'll notice they don't always), Accidentally made Aziraphale an anti-capitalist, Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Asexual Relationship, Asexual positivity (I love this fandom because of all the ace love), Aziraphale and Crowley Use Their Words, Coming Out, Gen, Spoiler alert there's a demonic foot rub, also just fyi there's a random nonbinary human extra who kickstarts the entire ace conversation, comment-fic, do not @ me about the pronouns, figuring out you're ace when you're expected to be allo, filling my own prompt, no beta we saunter vaguely downwards like Crowley, oooopsy, sore scaly feet are made to feel good - it's not kinky just kind, the pronouns used are correct
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:33:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28617375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineQueen/pseuds/TourmalineQueen
Summary: For Comment-Fic, my own prompt:Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, "I never really liked the succubi or incubi demons. Now the humans have a word for what I am - asexual."
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 29
Collections: Aspec-friendly Good Omens, Bite Sized Bits of Fic, Bite Sized Bits of Fic from 2021





	Not a Sex Fiend

Crowley basked in a comfortable sprawl on the couch in the back room of Aziraphale's bookshop. He was quite content to stay there all day and listen to the angel run the bookshop like a belligerent anti-capitalist librarian. Anyone who wanted to actually _purchase_ a book? Given the most disdainful glare Crowley had ever seen outside of Hell. Ask (politely) to see but not buy books (especially ones pertaining to Aziraphale's interests) and he'd gladly let you stay there all day. 

Crowley's eyes took in quite a bit more than human eyes could, even behind his sunglasses, his demonic vision aided and abetted by some other senses. He gave a small smile as he observed Aziraphale kindly point a young human wearing a black ring on their middle finger to some historic resources about sexuality throughout history. The young human thanked Aziraphale profusely, and made eir way to the corner of the bookshop the angel had pointed out to em. He could hear the angel bustling towards the back room and snapped his fingers to ensure there was tea in the pot.

"Thank you, dear heart," Aziraphale said to Crowley, wiggling happily to see the teapot beginning to boil.

Crowley made a vague noise that meant "you're welcome."

When the young human had finished eir study for the day Aziraphale closed the shop.

"Four o'clock, angel? Surely you want to participate in capitalism and make a few more sales?" Crowley asked, faux innocently, enjoying the angel's huffy tirade about the expectation of modern humans that money was the only important thing in life. "Calm down, Aziraphale, I was only pulling your leg."

Aziraphale chuckled at that, saying, "my dear, I know. It's just that young human reminded me of some of my human friends from centuries ago. The ones who believed had something wrong with them. At least ey had the language to call emself asexual, and ey didn't have any problem signifying it. Oh, Crowley, you would have loved eir serpent sticker in the asexual pride colours, it was quite charming."

Crowley took his sunglasses off and smiled fondly at Aziraphale. "I liked eir black ring, it's nice ey have a symbol to identify emself to other aces, like your Oscar's lot with the green carnations."

Aziraphale sat beside Crowley on the sofa, something he did only rarely, and Crowley loved it every single time the angel did it. Crowley slung his long legs up onto Aziraphale's lap, making the angel wiggle with happiness and mock tut at the "incorrigible fiend". Aziraphale's tutting didn't stop him from removing Crowley's shoes and gently massaging his feet, taking care not to damage the demon's scales.

"NGK," said Crowley, luxuriating in how good the angel's hands felt on feet that hadn't really done much today but ached nonetheless. "Y'know, s'funny, angel, how much of being a demon involves sex and sexual appetites, but it just ... didn't work for me."

"Oh?" Aziraphale asked.

"N'yeah, I hung around with a few succubi and incubi over the Millennia but they always seemed ... obsessed ... y'know, with ..." Crowley gesticulated vaguely as he tried to make his point, " _it_."

"It?" Aziraphale asked, beginning to massage up Crowley's legs, staying just below the knee.

"N'yeah, it. Sex, and whatnot. Never appealed to me. They thought _I_ was the weird one. Seems I was just... what's the human word? Asexual."

"Perhaps I ought to gift you a black ring. It will match the rest of your aesthetic quite nicely," Aziraphale said, gracing the demon with a warm smile and releasing Crowley's feet.

"Aren't you... ngk, a bit disappointed?" Crowley asked, eyes downcast. "That I'm not interested in ... rutting with you?"

"Dear heart, surely you've noticed by now that I accept you as you are... and that I also have never expressed an interest in the physically active aspect of having a corporation, even with you. I ought to wear a black ring on my middle finger, too, one that will match yours, perhaps," the angel replied, reaching out to clasp Crowley's hand and drawing it to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles.

"A little shopping trip then? Before the shops shut?" Crowley suggested.

"I know just the place!"


End file.
